I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
