I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
