Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You are the jesus of drinking
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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