i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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