SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
