U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
