I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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