The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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