God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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