Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
