Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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