I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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