the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize