i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
