I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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