i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
