so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
