That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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