You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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