I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
