Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
