He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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