I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
