I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
