community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have aggressive nipples.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
