you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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