we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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