it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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