But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
