Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
