at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
