I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
