You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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