I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize