The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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