i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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