omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
