I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
