8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
