not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
