He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
