...so i touched it.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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