I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
