Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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