i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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