He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
