I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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