...so i touched it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
