I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
two words: eviction party
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
