i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
