I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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