well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
