he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
