I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
