Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
