I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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