Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
