remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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