Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
