Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
