Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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