I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
