I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
