I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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