no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
