Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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