Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's the barista slut.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize