She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
