I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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