Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Randomize
