I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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