he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
